I'm so glad I went to BEST. It was hell for a while, and made me VERY ill !!!! Thought I wouldn't be able to get through it, almost had another break down ! But thanks to Phill, and a lot of determination ! Shit loads of it ! I got through it, and even though I didn't get a job out of it, I ended getting a lot more.
Ok so its taken me maybe 3 and a half months, to get completely calm and truly happy again, but it was worth all the stress and throw up ! Well, to de-stress from BEST, and the nerves I had from getting over certain things to be with Phill, has taken 3 and a half months. But getting over my panics, depression, self harm, 0 self worth and hating myself... 7 years :-P But fuck it ! Shit happens, and we get over it. Even if it takes a while.
Would have sorted that in two months if it hadn't been for stupid parrot nose popping up at the worst time possible !!! But heck, I was going to bump into him at some point. Couldn't get away from him forever.
I've finally been able to grow up, and do things normal people do. I still get a little nervous about silly little things, but it's a HUGE improvement! I'm not treated like an idiot or a child any more !
All I need and want to do now is get a part time job and move out of my parents house. Not sure my parents would be too happy about me leaving, but they'd get use to it.

I'm so glad that my parents and brother are proud of me, and that I've finally found a great guy.